In this blog, you’ll learn:
- Why hearing loss is often mistaken for “not paying attention” in day-to-day conversations
- How to spot the early signs of hearing loss in yourself or a loved one
- What to do if you’re starting to notice a pattern – and why acting early matters
We’ve all said it or heard it: “You only hear what you want to hear.” It’s a phrase often thrown around in households with a mix of amusement and frustration. But what if it’s not just selective hearing? What if there’s something more going on?
Hearing loss can be subtle at first. It’s not always about missing entire conversations. Sometimes, it’s about mishearing words, needing repetition, or not catching the punchline. That’s why it’s so often dismissed – until it starts to affect relationships, work performance, or daily life.
Why “Selective Hearing” Isn’t Always a Choice
When someone regularly says “sorry?” or seems to ignore conversation, it can feel like they’re tuning out on purpose. In reality, they may be genuinely struggling to hear certain tones, pitches, or voices – especially in noisy environments.
Here are a few real-life examples:
- A parent watching TV with the volume up high but still missing dialogue
- A partner not responding to questions asked from another room
- A colleague misunderstanding instructions during a meeting
- A child who seems distracted in class but is actually missing key words
These situations are common, and they don’t mean someone is being difficult or inattentive. They might just be experiencing undiagnosed hearing loss.
Signs It Might Be Hearing Loss (Not Just Distraction)
Behaviour Noticed |
What It Might Mean |
|---|---|
| Repeatedly asking people to repeat themselves | Trouble hearing clearly, especially in background noise |
| Turning up the volume louder than others prefer | Hearing loss in one or both ears |
| Withdrawing from conversations | Avoiding the embarrassment of mishearing |
| Responding inappropriately to questions | Misunderstanding due to missed words or sounds |
| Complaining others are “mumbling” | Difficulty hearing softer sounds or certain speech frequencies |
Let’s Talk About Communication
Untreated hearing loss doesn’t only affect the person experiencing it. It affects families, partners, children, friends, and co-workers. Miscommunication can lead to frustration, disconnection, and even emotional distance over time.
Here’s what you can do if you suspect hearing loss is affecting someone you care about:
- Start the conversation gently
Use “I” statements like: “I’ve noticed you’re turning up the volume more lately. Maybe it’s worth checking your hearing just to be sure?”
- Encourage them, not pressure them
There’s still stigma around hearing loss. Reassure them that it’s normal and help is available.
- Normalise hearing tests
Many people get their eyes or teeth checked regularly, but haven’t had a hearing test in years – or ever.
FAQs
A: No. While age-related hearing loss is common, anyone – including teens and working-age adults – can experience hearing loss due to genetics, noise exposure, illness, or injury.
A: Yes, occasionally. But if it’s happening regularly, it’s worth checking for underlying hearing issues. An untreated hearing loss increases your cognitive load as you are spending more energy on listening than you normally should. This means a hearing loss depletes your mental energy earlier on in the day causing an individual with a hearing loss to become tired earlier on in the day
Tips for families: Make sure the lighting is good to assist family members to be able to lip read.
A: A screening is a quick check to see if hearing is within normal range. A diagnostic hearing assessment gives a complete picture of hearing health.
Helpful Tips for Families
- Don’t shout or exaggerate words – speak clearly and face the person
- Reduce background noise when having conversations (turn off the TV or music)
- Be patient and remember that miscommunication is a sign to check in, not blame
Take the First Step
If you or a loved one are starting to question whether it’s hearing loss or just “not listening,” it’s time to stop guessing. A professional hearing test can bring clarity, reassurance, and a way forward.
Book a diagnostic hearing assessment at our Bedfordview or Benoni practice by calling 011 615 3047 or emailing candice@cvhaudiology.co.za.
Because better hearing leads to better understanding for everyone.
